I recently sustained a work related injury. This injury is truly a mom injury. I cannot do yoga for an undetermined amount of time.
So, this is what happened; take note moms because this truly silly, ridiculous, embarrassing, stupid accident could happen to you also. I was bussling around my house at a fast pace as usual. I was carrying my laptop, open, with one hand (since it is my very light super slick Macbook Air). All of a sudden I found myself falling over a chair. Dammit!! The kids had left one of their little chairs sitting in the middle of the family room floor! Since I was carrying my computer around in front of my face, open, I could not see anything in front of me and did not know that my little darlings had left their chair right in the middle of the floor.
As I was falling I thought to myself, wow, this is really going to hurt. I also thought, I hope I don’t break anything. Seriously, I really thought those two things in the short two seconds that I was falling. I never once thought about my precious brand new Apple computer. Not once. My body means so much more to me at this point in my life.
First, my left shin went crashing into one of the chair legs and then, and this is the worst of it, my Sternum crashed into the top portion of the chair. Then my whole body fell over the chair. I was laying on the ground. I still haven’t thought about my computer once at this point.
“What was that? Are you ok?” said Chris from the office.
For those of you who do not know where the sternum portion of your body is, I will show you:
I thought I hurt my clavicle. Don’t judge me, we all have our strong points and our shortcomings. So, the Sternum is literally smack in the middle of my boobs.
Chris ran in because he was alarmed by the very “unusually loud crashing sound” in the other room. I took that comment as he just figured it wasn’t one of the 26 pound children falling. First he asked about me. Then he paused and asked about the computer. I could tell that since he saw I was still alive, he cared a wee bit more about the computer. But since he is no dummy, he strategically asked about me first. Smart. Too bad I’m smarter and figured that out.
No, I was not OK. I was injured. My chest hurt. My cleavage was broken. My shin didn’t feel so great either. The children stared at me like I was an imbecile. I was an imbecile. This one was way worse than when I did the cartoon-style step on the skateboard in the garage and end up laying flat on my back. This mom injury hurt bad.
I didn’t cry. I wanted to but I decided to be stoic. I figured what is worse than than falling like a dummy over a child sized chair because I was carrying my laptop in front of me and couldn’t see? Crying about it.
So this happened during the week. On a week from last Saturday I went to yoga. It hurt but I made it through. This last Saturday I did yoga and after holding the plank pose for 30 seconds my Sternum hurt so badly that I had to leave. I left after only 15 minutes. It had to hurt pretty badly for me to leave yoga after 15 minutes.
I went to the doctor. My doctor said that I didn’t seem to fracture anything, which she determined by feeling the area. Based on where it hurts, I injured this big group of muscles, which is why anything push up/plank related is a killer.
I can’t do yoga for an undetermined amount of time. I have to sleep on my back. I will not walk around the house with my computer in front of me anymore.
The good news is that Preston has finally decided to poop on the potty. No more pull ups for me. No more wiping poopy butts. I am officially done.
Until next time, the mothership is signing off.